It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm at about main and main street
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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