Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It's rum buckets o'clock
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
