make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
