Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
