everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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