The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
