I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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