I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
