There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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