Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
