Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
