there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
