I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
