I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
