Apparently you make a good broom.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Please don't give away my fajitas
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
