I never want to see another naked old woman again.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Randomize
