Screwed.edu
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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