Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
