I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
