He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
