i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Randomize
