And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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