watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
