On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
