Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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