i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
