I wish my penis had an off switch
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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