So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Randomize
