Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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