I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
