Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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