wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
