are you still at the devil's house?
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
And then he peed in my hair
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