I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Farmville is her only friend.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
