I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
