We're facebook friends in real life
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
