their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
