If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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