i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
