we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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