woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize