He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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