I am puke
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Randomize
