i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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