There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
