but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
