do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
