Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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