I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
