I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
