i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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