OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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