I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
