the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
