I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
